I first wanted to thank all my purgie friends for helping me to deal with this awful mess I'm going through. Now on to Teaser Tuesday. This an an excerpt with Kenji (main character) Kishi (next main character) and the princess. A second battle is on the way and the group is about to be sent out but because of the princess's high status, she can't fight. She is determined and makes the group promise to let her go. Her mother knows something is up and is trying to figure out what it is. Here it is:
“I just wanted to see the gang off. Is there a problem?” the princess asked. The Queen took a look around at the large group. No one looked back at her except Kishi, Kenji, and Panthra.
“No, nothing’s wrong bit you guys should really get going. You’ve already wasted more minutes then you should. Kressara, head on back to the house.” The Queen said. Her daughter didn’t move one inch.
“Did you hear what I said?” The Queen asked. She turned her full attention on her daughter and everyone else was forgotten. Kressara shifted her body toward her mother. Kishi quickly read her aura to see what was about to happen. It was a bright pulsing red. Kressara was ready to do battle. She caught Kenji’s eye and he knew what was happening. Kishi sent the princess a message to stay calm. She knew the princess received it when she broke contact with her mother and looked at her. The Queen did not miss it but she said nothing.
“I told you that I wanted to see my friends off and that’s what I’m going to do.” Kressara’s eyes flashed black and back again. Both women stood with their bodies erected and leaning toward each other. Kressara’s hands were balled into fist. The Queen’s eyes were jet black now and her aura glowed for all to see. It was an icky grey shade with lightening bolts running through it.
Thanks guys in advance for your blunt but kind and helpful words!!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
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7 comments:
There's just a couple of typos, but I love the feel of the story.
Did you write this recently?
I like the grey aura...well, I like the idea of it, sounds icky-dreadful. Take care, Tasha!!
My eyes are hating me today. but it was good. I would've liked to have read a bit more with some space between your comment and the teaser... but what you've got is intriguing.
I'm not in editing-mode, so I can't say much other than i'm curious as to what comes next.
:)
good luck with everything!!
I like this. Kressara sounds very rebellious--my kind of girl. Keep up the good work.
I like the idea of a gray aura with lightning bolts running through it. I'd be interested to see what other kinds of auras there are in this world. Nice!
Uh-oh. I know nothing about your story or auras, but I'm pretty sure lighting bolts in the latter aren't a good thing!
Just one thing to consider: you have a lot of characters that begin with "K". I found it a tad confusing.
Yes Ella, this is the story I'm working on now. It needs some work and I plan on changing the names but after I finish it.
Thanks guys for the help.
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